Handshakes and Hedgefunds

cover art for Handshakes and Hedgefunds by Bransby - image shows a handshake against the background of a faded Union flag

Hot off my musical press please enjoy Handshakes and Hedgefunds. I am well aware that the wealthy and powerful of this, or any, nation are never held accountable for their actions, but that didn't stop me fantasising about a time when they would be, that's where this came from. Can you imagine a time when the pompous mediocrity of Britain's moneyed classes is finally exposed and their influence consigned to the toilet of history? When the rampant corruption of inherited wealth is finally punished?

Of course it's just a dream, but you've got to have a dream. If you don't have a dream, how you gonna have a dream come true?

You can listen to Handshakes and Hedgefunds and read the lyrics below. It's available to download from Bandcamp now and will be available on all streaming services from November 8th. No, I don't think "Hedgefund" is actually one word, but I'm an artist, I can do what I like.

  1. Handshakes and Hedgefunds Bransby 3:59

Handshakes and Hedgefunds

After all the rise and fall
The analysis of your hubris
The inquiries and investigations
Redacted reports and indignation

Could it be that we will see
These hallowed halls and ancient walls
These gleaming towers invested powers
Are crumbling in your final hours?

Basic, is that all you were?
Your best was all but mediocre
And in the end all your friends
Abandoned you to market trends

Nobody fears you, your red face and bluster
Your public school tie will no longer pass muster
The accountants are coming, you’re facing an audit
The gongs and the knighthoods nepotistic plaudits
It’s all ringing hollow and justice will follow
There isn’t a handshake or hedge fund to save you now

Wave your flag and pack your bags
Protected by hacks as you avoid tax
Your private jet is not fuelled yet
You’re held on the runway, with bills that you can’t pay

This sinking yacht, is all you’ve got
You’re non-domiciled, released to the wild
On the high seas, you stole with ease
But back on dry land you’ll pay some steep fees

And as the curtain falls
We will hold your calls
The corruption unfettered
Now you’re in debt to your shredder
With your many names
You played us for fools
Winning at games
Where you made the rules

Nobody fears you, your red face and bluster
Your public school tie will no longer pass muster
The accountants are coming, you’re facing an audit
The gongs and the knighthoods nepotistic plaudits
It’s all ringing hollow and justice will follow
There isn’t a handshake or hedge fund to save you now