Somewhere around the mid-to-late noughties my partner Dawn and I went through a period of 2 years during which we went to about 18 weddings. I was best man at 4 of them. I think it's completely understandable that I became sick of weddings, and I feel I've earned the right to be a bit cynical. If you think I sound like a grumpy old man then you're absolutely right. Having said all that the cover art for this song is a photo is of me dancing at one of those weddings, I enjoyed them all.
"Nothing says I 'I love you' like a three course meal and free beer" is a line I am disproportionately proud of. Dawn and I remain happily unmarried to this day.
You can listen to The Happiest Day and read the lyrics below.
The Happiest Day
I take thee to be my awful wedded wife
I'm happy and here's why, you're filling up my life with
Arrangements, engagements, so many things to do
What we've meant, in a statement, the vows I'll make to you
Before God, and it seems odd, when I'm an atheist
And your friends, and my friends, are quickly getting pissed
But there's tension, don't mention what your mum said to him
And my sister, I've missed her, but it's best that she's not coming
The champagne pops, the wine will flow and weddings well
They come and go
And marriages they do the same, it's not your fault, you're not to blame
I'll come and sing, and play the fool, and I'll skinny-dip in the hotel pool
Coz it's the happiest day, in every way, and I'm so glad to be here
Nothing says I love you like a three course meal and free beer
The parents wink coz it's my turn next, and I've gotta get me a wife
They may be coming for me, but I'm watching my back
And they'll never, they'll never take me alive
I'm grounded, dumbfounded to be caught unawares
Surrounded, well-rounded, a guy who really cares
I'll call you, and be true, we'll talk, we'll compromise
And I'll learn to calmly do the things that I despise
But one day I might say that I'm not coming back
I'll go my way, I won't stay and you can watch me back
The best man comes the best man goes
He's hear for you that's all he knows
And I pronounce you man and wife
This is the day, this is your life
The romance is the first to leave
Coz your mum's in the car park with Uncle Steve
Coz it's the happiest day, in every way, and I'm so glad to be here
Nothing says I love you like a three course meal and free beer
The parents wink coz it's my turn next, and I've gotta get me a wife
They may be coming for me, but I'm watching my back
And they'll never, they'll never take me alive